Key Point: 'Léa, 23, remembers hooking up with a guy who waited awkwardly long for the ask.
“It was already basically happening and then he goes, ‘Wait, do you want to have sex?’ ” she says, laughing. “I responded with, ‘Yes, obviously, I’m naked under you and we’ve been fooling around.’ ”
Even though she felt the mood hit a wall, Léa appreciated the check-in.
“I wish more guys did that,” she says. “Honestly, two seconds of awkwardness was better than just having sex without asking.”
Dating coach Tracey Steinberg says it’s easy for guys to learn how to make consent a smooth part of the experience.'
New York Post
8.8.15 | Maridel Reyes
“May I dry hump you?”
Julia*, 30, was at a date’s apartment when the guy bluntly posed that question during a steamy moment on his couch. Barely able to contain her laughter, she made an excuse and promptly left. She appreciated the ask, but the wording? Definitely a mood killer.
Verbal consent is, thankfully, the new standard for sex as we move from a “no means no” to a “yes means yes” world — but with that comes a potentially not-sexy moment for men and women when getting in bed together.
“Men don’t find it sexy to have to ask for consent, and women don’t find it sexy,” says Nancy Slotnick, founder and dating coach at Matchmaker Cafe. But it’s a not-so-seductive question — and one largely absent from movie and TV sex scenes — worth asking.
Léa, 23, remembers hooking up with a guy who waited awkwardly long for the ask.
“It was already basically happening and then he goes, ‘Wait, do you want to have sex?’ ” she says, laughing. “I responded with, ‘Yes, obviously, I’m naked under you and we’ve been fooling around.’ ”
Even though she felt the mood hit a wall, Léa appreciated the check-in.
“I wish more guys did that,” she says. “Honestly, two seconds of awkwardness was better than just having sex without asking.”
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