What was 'no means no' is turning into an active — even enthusiastic — yes when consenting to sexual activity.
2.25.15 | Kristin Rushowy
Yes! And nothing less.
While “no means no” was the mantra for years when talking about sexual consent, it’s now “yes means yes” — meaning if you want intimate contact, you need to ask and receive approval before, and even during.
“People talk about affirmative consent and enthusiastic consent and they talk about continuous consent” during sexual activity, said Toronto sex educator Lyba Spring.
While it depends on the individuals, “it could be as simple as ‘Is this OK?’ ” she said.
And the answer? “Ideally it’s a ‘yes’ or ‘this feels good!’ ” said Ceda Verbakel, another sex educator who has worked in public schools.
“There must be a lack of hesitation and clarity around what is going on” and questions should be open-ended so partners can clearly respond with “yes I like to do this and no I don’t want to do this.’”
Ontario’s new sex-ed curriculum, in public schools this fall, introduces the concept of consent in the primary grades by teaching students to respect their bodies and others’, stand up for themselves, and even how to read facial expressions and tones of voice.
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